I take too long To answer telephones I take too long to type my name And record messages But my handwriting is excellent In fact it's second to none, none I just got in From somewhere really good They offered me the part of Bono And a speaking role With all the merchandise And sunglasses I could ever need, need I drive round cities in a chariot I get preferential treatment At the Marriott but if the truth be told I'm naked under all those clothes [Chorus] I tell you what is on my mind I only want to be In your record collection I only want to be In your record collection And I'll do anything it takes Just to get there My brain is buzzing And the room is strange Like the scene in trading places At the stock exchange I made a million overnight in '87 Now I'm living in my Parking space, parking space My teeth are bright And my hair is clean I wear Paco Rabanne Like I was Charlie Sheen But in the rain we all look wet And in the snow we all look cold [Chorus] Disgusted by all the flashness I think I'm a don They think I'm an actor But I catch this My two needs Are pillow and a mattress Once I can fill up the space With a famous actress Give me a mil, I'll do a DJ set I pull spikey with the green Like a cactus Show off, ego's high You can't match this Chauvinistic pig Money man tactics I'm not as clever As I thought I was It got pointed out to me As I was tying the knot And all I want to know is How I got so far down, down I'm not as lucky As I thought I was My luck ran out the other day As I was crossing the road Who would have thought A truck like that Could have caused so much [Chorus]